Confessions of a Kunoichi
by AlexHamato
Summary: It was a simple question, really. "Why did you do it?" But she had no answer. She only had her duty. She was a woman who did not need the companionship of others; but then, why did she do it? Why did she hurt her greatest enemy, and her only friend?


_This was originally going to be the "final" chapter of my Turtle Soup series, but I enjoyed writing this too much and it became too long for me to put it there. That's more like where I throw all of my extra writing that I don't want to post by itself. This is my first time writing Karai, I believe, other than my... No, I'm not even going to mention that horrible story. Ha ha ha ha ha! Anyways, THIS is what I will delude myself into thinking as my first portrayal of Karai. Any comments on her portrayal would be appreciated, since I want to attempt to write her more after this, and could use all the advice I can get! _

_I do not own Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Nickelodeon does._

* * *

"Why did you do it?"

The _kunoichi_ could tell the ignorant fool whatever she pleased and he would most surely believe her. The young turtle paced back and forth in front of her, almost frothing at the mouth. She could recognize a bone-deep rage. She has felt that herself, inherited from her own father.

"This is pointless. If you wish me dead, then kill me. I will not beg for your worthless forgiveness."

Her tone was as sharp as her blade and venom laced her words as she slowly, but meticulously, rotated her chafing wrists against the thick rope that bound her. From what little she could so, for it was dark with only the dimmest light, she was held in the repulsive sewers that her enemy called home.

"You were supposed to be our _friend_! Or at least, an honorable person. Leo said so himself. But you _stabbed_ him. You betrayed him."

"He has fared worse, as have I. He is not dead. Your pathetic attempt for revenge is useless."

"It wasn't your blade that hurt him."

The voice was quiet, then. Almost hurt. Troubled.

Karai ground her teeth as an annoying buzz of pain began to creep behind her eyes. She was getting a migraine. From what? Stress? What this _turtle_ said should not bother her. It was not as if that battle, and how it ended… that was not what she wanted.

Karai did not know what she wanted, truly.

"Then he should not have been so _stupid_ as to trust me," she spat.

He slapped her. She was so shocked that _this_ one, out of them all, had the malice to do so. The woman could not remember a time where there was not some goofy, lopsided grin on his stupid face. It took several seconds for the dull throb to settle into her cheek. Blood was thick in her mouth.

"He's not stupid. Don't _ever_ call my brother stupid. Trusting people isn't stupid. You would get this if you trusted yourself, but you don't. You're just sad. I'd hate to be you."

Raw, hot anger writhed in her chest and coiled up like a cobra as she snapped at him, "Stop this nonsense and take my head, if that eases your _pain_. I will not stand to be ridiculed by such a weak fool."

He crouched before her. It was difficult for her to see his expression, the shadows of the room keeping all but the bright blue of his eyes in darkness. They watched her, unblinking.

"Why did you do it?"

Why did she do it? Why did _she_ do it?

Duty. Command. Honor. Pride… Envy, guilt, yearning…

She lowered her eyes, ignoring his gaze. "Because I _had_ too."

"He didn't use the sword. You did. You made that choice. But why? You're not evil. You're alone. Why would you hurt one of your friends?"

Her vision swam in red as she lurched forward, her wrists popping as she snarled and dug her teeth into the meat of his shoulder.

He didn't fight her.

Instead, he waited for her to calm down enough to release him, then pushed her back against the wall. Her ears rung as her skull cracked against the cold concrete. She spat the bloodied saliva at him, glaring with dark slits.

"You have no right to judge me, _turtle._ I made my decision and I would do so again if my father's honor was at stake. I have no need for friends or – or these _companions_. I only need my duty to my clan."

"Nobody wants to be alone, dude. Not even you."

Her teeth were grinding once more in her frustration at the slow process at which she was severing the robe around her wrists. Her fingernails were filed and sharp, but the rope was thick and taunt. He was not making this easy for her, which only added to her rage, as she was being shamed at the ridiculousness of the situation. _This_ turtle best her? It was an outrage.

"And why then, did you bring me here, Michelangelo? If you wished for a cup of evening tea, then you only should have asked. I would have dined with you after your head was removed from your body."

"Threats aren't really working here, dude. Try again." She heard him shift away and move across the room. Moments later a bright light turned on, blinding her. "That's better. I usually don't hit ladies, but I guess I would have to make an exception with you."

Karai snorted, "Torture, then? How futile. You do not have a strong enough mind to torture me. You are weak."

"Mercy isn't weakness. You really have got your priorities mixed up, dude."

Her eyes adjusted to the brightened room, but the stark contrast between light and darkness kept his figure in shadow. A halo of light emanated around the silhouette.

She stiffened her body to not flinch away when he touched her, and was confused at the chilled ice that was held against her swelling cheek. "What is this? Is this a ruse? I am not amused. I do not need your – your _pity_. Take it away!"

Kindness followed by pain. That is what this was. But she knew better by now. Her father taught her well. She would not be fooled by this creature. Her enemy. She will not make Leonardo's mistake.

"Easy, easy. I just lost it a bit, okay? I didn't mean to hit you. Well, I did – but hitting out of anger isn't really my thing. Or at least I try not to do that. My father said that it is easier to eat a dog than to kiss a shark. Or something like that. It was in Japanese so the translation is all funky."

Was he serious? What was wrong with him? He must have a mental sickness to make him so – so…

"Can you _please_ tell me why you stabbed my brother? I think he deserves to know. Don't you?"

"I wish you would die."

"And I wish that I had beard like Zach Galifianakis, but that's not happening anytime soon. So, come on, stop being a psycho lady for a little bit and just chill out with me here. Okay?"

Her cheek was numb and her eyes colder than the ice. "No. Leave me be, or kill me – anything to get away from your stupidity."

Then he _laughed_. She scowled at him as he leaned back to plop down, now sitting. The turtle tossed the ice pack over his ravaged shoulder, which _she_ injured, and shrugged. "You and the rest of my family, dude. I don't even know why the hell _I'm_ here. At first I was – no, I'm _still_ super pissed but that's not going to get anywhere with you, is it? You're used to people hitting you and yelling at you. I could be angry. I could totally hurt you, but I won't. I just want you to answer my question. Please?"

Stomach twisted once again as he lowered her eyes to the ground, unable to meet his eyes. "I do not know the answer."

"Oh. Well, I'll just say something way more nice and cool to tell him, I guess. Maybe I'll say that you were on your time-of-the-month and were too hormonal to even look at him. April gets pretty crazy, too. But you're like a ninja chick, so it's probably way worse for you. Do you think Leo is hot?"

Just a thin sliver of the rope remained, but the final question distracted her enough to balk at her captor and snap, "Shut up! I mean, hold your tongue! You are so _annoying_ that I would rather suffer lashes than this."

"That is so a yes. If you weren't looking like you wanted to kill me, I'd say you were blushing. But that's probably rage, isn't it?"

Karai responded with a snarl.

"Yup. Rage. Why so sensitive? It's kinda funny. Since neither of you ever want to have a life for yourselves. He's all about honor and duty and stuff. If you guys did get all, you know, like that – then you'd just be miserable because you both would be trying to serve the other. How lame is that?"

The rope finally snapped between her nails and she jerked forward, her blistered hands following as she moved to strike at his throat. He nonchalantly swatted her hands away and flipped back, to his feet. Karai, reached back to grab a _tanto_ blade from the rear guard of her waistband and swiped it at his retreating form. He danced away, as if in a game, and she was given that _infuriatingly_ lopsided grin. As if half his face was numb and the other was far too happy.

"I grow tired of your mocking, turtle. I will send your clan your – " she ducked a high kick, rolled to his rear side and swiped at the back of his knee, which he leaped nimbly over. He moved more like a deer than a turtle. Stupid man.

"My head in a box, I know, I know. Your daddy gives me the same speech just about every time I meet him."

Why was she so slow? She wanted to hurt him. She wanted to _kill_ him. He watched her too closely. He saw too much. Her stomach was still churning, chest tight and aching. It was hard to catch her breath, and this was not for the lack of physical strength. How did he _know_?

"I _hate_ you," her voice wavered in a near-screech, "_I hate you, I hate you_!"

"I know." His eyes followed her as she moved around him, circling him. Each thrust to his throat, his chest, his legs, his _face_. "But you hate yourself more."

"Shut _up_. You know nothing, fool! I am a _kunoichi_. A warrior. I do not need such foolish commodities like _compassion_ or this – this _disgusting_ love that you speak of. I – I _don't_…"

Then she was fighting underwater. Her vision blurred. Foggy dots of green and white and orange danced away from her, always out of reach.

She never wanted this. She never wanted this _pain_.

Karai lowered her blade, silent as she forced her eyes to dry and for her heart to harden. _She_ would not be in pain. She would make _him_ feel pain. She would hurt _him_.

"I know now why I hurt your brother. Why he _deserved_ to be hurt."

Finally. The smile disappeared. Those stupid _happy_ blue eyes finally grew solemn. Michelangelo became quiet.

"Because he loved me. As only a fool would. A _stupid, _blind fool. I could play with his stupid little heart and teach him how love is pain. How he was only a young boy too stupid to actually see the world for what it is. What is your clan? Ninja? No. You are lowly creatures trying to find your place in a world that does not want you. That if you were wise, you would do this world a favor and _die – _"

_Crack_.

Her left eye bled. His eyes were narrowed now, sharp; only shards of ice remained now. Her blood pumped and the pain ebbed away as her adrenaline made her sight clear, all the shadows and light vivid and revealing.

But he was so _fast. _

Three strikes along her collarbone, almost shattering her right shoulder as he advanced.

_Crack. Crack. Pop_.

She spun away, favoring her bad side and backed away from him. She stepped to the left, he blocked her and kicked out at her shin, but she expected that and swung down with her blade.

He caught her wrist. And twisted.

The flare of fire was instant, but she jumped up along the wall, forcing her feet to run against gravity and flip to her enemy's backside to prevent a full break. He was flexible, for having such an encumbering shell, and managed to throw a heavy kick into her midriff.

A tightened abdomen caught the brunt of the blow and she traced the tip of her blade along the inside of his leg as he retracted it. The copper smell made her hair stand on-end.

"You know I speak truth, _freak_. Your kind should have never come into existence."

Karai sidestepped a roundhouse kick to her chest, only to be rewarded with a deaf ear as he spun last second to catch the side of her head with his heel. She spat out a glob of blood as a tooth loosened in her mouth and added, "And if I _ever_ decide to stab your brother again, I will make sure to not miss. You have my word on that."

The enemy roared and forsaked his training to bodily slam her against the wall. The blows were quick, but clumsy now, blind with anger. This pleased and sickened her, a bubbly queasiness in the base of her stomach as she effortlessly evaded the blows. Concreted cracked and crumbled behind her, deep craters where layered brick once stood.

Karai managed to finally step away from the barrage of strikes, twisting to his rear and hesitating to sever the back of his neck, as she intended.

He was still hitting the wall.

"I am not there," she said. It seemed like a ridiculous, obvious fact. She did not understand why she felt the need to point it out. "What are you doing?"

His breathing was ragged now, wheezing. Almost choked, but he was not sweating. He did not seem fatigued physically, but somehow he appeared more drawn-out and worn. His bloodied fists lowered, his head bowed, and shoulders sagged.

"I'm sorry."

Her grip tightened on the blade. "Turn around," she commanded, "I can still fight. _You_ can still fight. We are not finished here, Michelangelo. Face me."

The blade was shaking in her grip. She was so _weak_.

"I shouldn't have flipped out like that. I'm sorry. I'm done now."

"No you are NOTdone. I will say when you are done, and you are surely _not_. If you do not fight, I will kill you."

Why were his eyes sad? They should be angry. Like ice. Like cold, _cold_ ice that could cut her. But he was _sad_. He looked _guilty_. It was _infuriating_.

"I demand that you fight me, you – you _freak_. You pathetic worm! I hate you!"

This was her enemy. Not her friend. Her enemy. Her hatred. Her dishonor. Her _pain_.

Just like him.

"I will kill your brother. I will _murder_ Leonardo if you do not fight me. I swear I will."

"No, you won't."

Karai had to put both hands on the blade to keep it from dropping, her hands were shaking so violently.

"Then I will kill _you_!"

So she swung…

… but she did not kill him.

His eyes met hers. Knowing.

And then she knew that she lost. The tip was almost brushing the ridge between those stupid, _stupid_ sad eyes. Still, he did not move. He only watched her.

She wanted to gouge those eyes out.

Instead she threw the _tanto_ blade with her rage, her pain, her hatred, and her deep sorrow. The steel shattered on stone. It was done.

Saki Karai left, defeated.

* * *

**A/N - I didn't even have much of paragraphs at the end, did I? I think that my "It Only Takes a Word" series has really skewed how I write now, because I want everything to be THAT fast-paced. Heh heh heh. And those are dialogue fics! I've always wanted to dive into the relationship between Karai and Leo, which I do NOT find a romantic one. Just because you - how do I put this? Understand? Relate? Empathize? Something like that. I see it more as they are both conflicted with such similar issues, and both or so limited to a social life, that they just naturally bond with one another. It doesn't have to be romantic to be close.**


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